Reflecting The Darkness
by MimiEatWorld
Summary: Draco is more than he seems and more than he ever wanted to be Inside. Full of contradictions, he is convinced there is no one in the world who understands him or anything about him. But he isnt the only one who is more than they seem. Secrets...
1. Chapter 1 Deep Inside

Draco stared into the mirror. He didn't pull a smile like normal people did, nor strike a pose or a vain flick of the hair; he simply stared. As per usual, there wasn't any expression; well, the normal smug frown seemed to have tattooed itself onto Malfoys image remained there. He looked hard at himself; somehow, he found his reflection haunting. Draco moved closer and closer to the glass, so his nose lightly touched the surface and his breath steamed up the reflection. 

Draco was a monster and he knew it. Everything about him was betraying, deceitful, cruel, and dishonest. Every little detail about him portrayed that… including his image. Draco looked down at the floor, away from the mirror. 

He was having another one of his bad days. Draco had his good days and his bad days; his good days were those of trouble and some sort of devious scheme going ahead (and preferably succeeding)

And his bad days… well, Draco could hardly explain them. They were complicated; they seemed to make an alarming amount of sense… yet they were against everything that

Draco stood for. He felt a solemn sort of confusion. He felt strangely alone, and wrong- and most of all; He Hated himself. 

Draco could almost tell whether his day would be good or bad from the moment he rose from his sleep- his bad days he felt guilt and this solemn emptiness stinging him. And his good days… Draco felt nothing

Draco lashed his hand up from his side and slapped the mirror violently off the wall- it went roaring to the fall and shattered into thousands of pieces. Draco flicked a loose bit of ash blonde hair off his face and went storming out of the drawing room- a house elf creeping in silently to clean the shattered mirror.

Draco flung open the door of the study and walked over to the oak desk. Draco was at home- in the Malfoy Mansion if you must- alone. His parents had gone away for a couple of days and left Draco to inhabit the house alone. Draco hardly cared- he saw it as a weight off his shoulders more than anything. His father was tiresome and his mother he found irritating, so he was happier to be by himself. Draco pulled the draw open and rummaged underneath piles of papers until a silver case was clutched on his fist. He slammed it upon the desk and opened it and took out a cigarette. He lit it with a lighter from his trouser pocket and began to smoke. He stalked over to the grand window looking over to the grounds and stared blankly out of it. The grounds stretched for miles and they were all beautiful. Deep red leaved trees, emerald green grass and the cold British weather seemed to sting it with early morning dew making it glisten. Draco could feel himself falling into deep thought and for a change, he allowed himself into his own little escape…

He could see a her again; as perfect as the last day he saw her, her hair so perfectly curled into loose tendrils and her eyes blue, and lightly fluttering as she blinked and her lips so perfect with the most beautiful, soft English accent flowing from her mouth at every syllable. Her gentle smell of Lavender as she swept airlessly past him, without her even noticing him as she walked effortlessly with such grace and elegance it took his breath away. How he wished she had turned around and embraced him just like…

"D-d-draco… S-sir M-Malfoy sir, when shall we present you with your l-lunch?" stammered a House elf, awaking Malfoy from his daydream. Draco flung the finishing cigarette to the ground and stamped upon it in the most violent manner, and retorted

"I do not wish to have Lunch- I would have asked you if I wanted Lunch you meaningless _thing _you. Now get out of my site!" The House Elf jumped slightly, shrieked and scuffled off down the stairs back down to the Kitchen. Malfoy sighed heartily and impatiently and swept out of the Study.


	2. Chapter 2 Livid Desperation

Draco awoke; his green eyes snapped open. It was August 31st- the last day of the school holidays and Draco had managed to battle through it quite alone. He hadn't see Crabbe or Goyle; and neither had he any desire to have seen them. He glanced over at the clock and it was already midday. His school work, all already packed, his new school books, piled neatly into his trunk (with still the warm, musty smell of Flourish and Blotts upon them) He pushed his heavy quilt off his bed, and automatically walked into the en-suite shower room and after puling his tattered tee and yesterdays boxers off, he stepped into a warm shower. He walked back into his room once he had finished and pulled on his black jeans and red tee with little effort. He swept out of his room and along the corridor 

"Draco," boomed a familiar voice from the Study. Draco took an abrasive breath in and walked into the Study

"Yes Father," Lucius turned around in a menacing manner. 

"You are to go back to Hogwarts tomorrow that is correct?"

"Yes Father,"

"Are you looking forward to going back to School son?" 

"It will be Pleasant to see Slytherin, Father." Draco replied mechanically.

"Now now Draco- you cannot be discriminative to other Equals in different houses especially in these times of much darkness." He drawled with a smug grin on his face. Draco knew exactly what that meant; he was having his own little joke. His Father was _the_ darkness in these times, he was to do with he-who-must-not-be-named, and anyone with any common sense could see that. Draco felt like spitting at him. "Although I do question sending you to such a dishonourable school. Full to the brim of No Good Mudbloods and that Dumbledore to see over it all," Lucius carried on "No wonder you are turning out to be an Anti Social bastard," Draco felt a rush of anger surge through him

"Go to Hell you DeathEater," spat Draco. The room fell into uncomfortable silence and Lucius stood there, rage imprinted onto his face. Draco turned around to walk out the room but felt a sharp, painful slap around the back of his head. He fell helplessly to the floor, bashing the corner of his left eye on a Bookshelf as he fell. He felt pain surge and swirl around his head and felt his Father pounce violently onto his back, pinning him to the floor

"You _ever _and I mean_ ever_ insult me again you'll get more than a hit around the head you hear me?" hissed his Father. Draco remained silent. "You hear me?" screamed his Father into Dracos Ear, Draco nodded vigorously. Lucius pushed Dracos head to the ground, and stormed fiercely out of the study

"Shit," Draco cursed to himself as he drew his hand up to his throbbing eye. He looked at his fingers and they had blood dripping down them from his eye. Draco stumbled into his room and slammed he door aggressively, running straight to his bathroom and gathering tissues that he placed over his bleeding eye. Draco carried on cursing to himself, anger storming inside of him. Draco lashed out suddenly, hitting everything off his desk in one hurl of his arm. He kicked the table leg in remorse and cut through the air with his fists. 'I… can't… take… this… anymore…' circled through his mind endlessly, rage, remorse, hurt, pain, kicking everything inside him around. Draco collapsed onto his bed, his fists clenching handfuls of his ash blonde hair in frustration and he screamed as loudly as his heart desired. 

Draco lay lifelessly on his bed for what must have been an hour. Everything inside him, every little piece of scum, and hurt was rippling right through him and tears of livid desperation welled in his gaze. 'This is what I have made myself, this is who I am. A Malfoy,' he told himself 'The Deatheating, Dark, Evil… Slytherin. And tomorrow, I'm back at Hogwarts. Back to my image, back to my attitude, back to my way of thinking… but I'm not back to me. I hate this. I hate my whole existence' Draco sighed heavily; he walked over to the mirror and looked at his eye. It wasn't too bad… a small cut and a dark bruise had emerged but it would be gone in a week. Draco glanced over to his door where his trunk, and his broom sat, waiting patiently to leave this prison and back to Hogwarts. 

"Why have I changed so much?" he asked his reflection out loud. 

"We all grow up don't we dearest," wheezed the mirror back to him. Draco stared at his stony cold grey eyes 'But what about inside…' he thought. 'Just this summer,' he thought to himself, 'My whole outlook on everything has changed. My Father is so… cruel. I never saw it before, I just saw him, my wonderful father who does what he has to do for himself. But now… And the thought of going back to the Slytherin house; back to the cold, stony dungeon full of manipulative, cruel intentions… it seems worse than any other fate in the world right now.' Draco fell to the floor, staring blankly and began to sob.

Authors Note: PLEASE R & R! pleeeease.

Okay… I know it is taking a while to get into this but I really want to try and set the scene, and differ the way Draco thinks a bit before any major plot begins but I _promise _that something will Happen in Chapter 3. While I am writing I listen to music and I just thought I better give a bit of credit to **InMe** as their songs kind of remind me of how Draco feels. Especially Neptune and Underdose so if you want a bit more of an insight J check out those lyrics. (www.azlyrics.com)


	3. Chapter 3 All in The Gaze

Draco walked down the Platform, his fists clenched over the handle of his trolley so hard his knuckles were snowy white. He could tell everyone was staring at him; everyone (who wasn't a Muggle of course) stopped as him and his Father swept past. Heads looked up, children stopped whining to their parents, parents glared at Lucius, children made disgusted faces at Draco. Last year, he felt superior, a class above everyone else, but now, he felt nothing but shame and utter self-disgust. 

But the fact of it was that it wasn't a sight that any sane witch and Wizard wouldn't stare at. The infamous Lucius Malfoy, powerful, dark, secretive, all-talk wizard and his son walking down looking rich and superior, of course rumours already flying about Dracos eye. Lucius had his right hand clasped to Dracos shoulder protectively scowling at every Mudblood he could recognise. Draco hung his head, letting some of his hair cover his face. Draco felt terrible; he didn't want to stay, but he didn't want to go. He was back to the Slytherin… back to the sneaky, mean, cruel Malfoy. 

"Wake up Boy!" hissed his Father into his ear. Draco looked up, no doubt about it- he was by the barrier. He ran through the Barrier perfunctorily and took a long stare at the scarlet Hogwarts Express that lay in front of him. 'My train to my Destiny…' he thought heavy heartedly. 

"Come Draco… onto the train. You will find your friends and your destiny the moment the train starts. Now before I wish you goodbye… You must remember what you are. And what are you Draco?" his father said, his grey eyes looking straight into Dracos. Draco dropped his head, he could not keep his stare with his father without loosing his cool or temper.

"I am a Malfoy." He replied apathetically. 

"And No doubt about it. Make me Proud Draco. I bid you Farewell." He finished and with nothing more, Lucius disappeared into the crowd. 'Make me Proud Draco…' those words buzzed through Dracos head fervently. Draco took a deep breath in 'This is no time to think Draco,' he told himself 'Just get over it and do what you have to do,' Draco pulled his trunk onto the train and went to find Crabbe and Goyle.

The first couple of days went quickly; this year was virtually indifferent from the last. Draco found it slightly easier, he had less time to lounge around with nothing but his mind to muse upon and Draco knew that if he acted strangely it would make it worse if he acted the same, but at the same time, he was trying to keep his head down. He didn't make any snide comments to Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, he didn't pick fights, he didn't suck up to Snape as much… but of course he still made witty, malicious comments to Gryffindors, and as no surprise, the Potter Trio were the worst off. 

Draco sat staring in Potions, staring at the people around him, judging them to put it bluntly. He stared at Weasely; and despite he had changed a hell of a lot over the summer, he still felt this blunt remorse for him. He looked over to Potter; he was looking, well… battered. He had dark rings framing his eyes and he looked skinnier and paler than ever before. Draco shook himself… there was no chance that he was letting himself have pity, let alone Sympathy for Potter. His gaze wandered over to Hermione, as per usual- she was scribbling absolutely every word that Snape uttered in her Rough book. She looked the same as she always did. Her teeth were still a little goofy, her hair bushy and mousey brown. She looked older and somehow… different. Not attractive just… somehow Familiar… 

"Mr Malfoy, what was I just saying?" spat Snape at Draco. Draco snapped back into reality

"Er… My name Sir?" he retorted wittily. All the Slytherins sniggered, and the Gryffindors remained as cold as stone. Snape raised an eyebrow. 

"Very witty Draco. Now please begin your Velour Sleeping Potion on your own, page 168 in your textbooks." Everyone began and followed the instructions in the book carefully. Draco paid full attention and followed the Instructions carefully. Once the process had finished Draco sat patiently. His eyes wandered over to Hermione again… she seemed so Familiaur. The way she walked, the way she talked, her lips, her eyes… so so familiar…

Suddenly there was a screech from behind Draco. Draco span around in his chair and felt a warm liquid fall down his back. The whole class gasped… no doubt Neville (who had been wandering over to Hermione for help) had spilt The Potion all down Dracos back. Draco got ready to scream at Draco with all his might, but instead a long, hearty yawn came out. Draco abruptly felt so sleepy… everything just seemed to be falling away from him and everything was so bright and shiny. All he wanted to do was close his eyes, so he did…

Draco yawned. He slowly opened his eyes… 'Where am I?' he thought. He blinked a couple of times, and he heard muffled voices surrounding him. He focused his vision and a face was standing over him, staring into his eyes, Dracos heart leapt. It was her; the soft curls, the big deep eyes, the perfect lips…

"CLARA!" he squeaked. All the voices fell silent "Its really you, oh Clara. How did you find me here? I thought you didn't care and you went away because Fa…"  

"Malfoy Malfoy." The Girl screamed over him "Im not Clara." The Voice said. "I-it's Hermione." Dracos heart sank. Draco squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again just to make sure it was happening. Hermione moved slightly so the whole of her face could be seen in the light, and no doubt it was her. Draco looked around and the whole of his Potions class were peering over him, he shoved them out the way and stumbled to his feet. 

"I AM TAKING 20 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR YOUR UTTER STUPIDITY NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOUR DESK YOU IGNORANT BOY!" screamed Snape to Neville who was whimpering as he spoke. Snape looked up and noticed a rather delirious Malfoy

"Draco. I insist you go to Madame Pomfrey this instant now that you have awoken."  Draco rubbed his head, it was throbbing wildly, Draco stumbled out the Potions Lab towards the Medical Wing. 'Clara… Clara… Clara…' throbbed through his head worse than his Migraine. Draco stopped in his tracks, realising what he had just exclaimed out loud to all of the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Draco sighed despairingly, and stumbled to the Medical Wing.

Authors Note: Aaah Clara… who's she then? ;) hehe. Well Im going to keep you guessing! Please Review because I LOVE getting them and they can help me along a lot more. I am quite content with this chapter, but please please enjoy it J mwah. 


	4. Chapter 4 Seductive Lies

Rumours were flying around the school manically; every girl named Clara in the school was being watched and stalked by every Slytherin in existence. Hermione was being pestered constantly also, but of course Draco was worst off. 'So much for keeping my head down this year…' he mumbled to himself as people turned and whispered to one another, coughs of 'Clara', and bitchy, girly chants hissed in his ears as people pushed past him. 

Draco pushed through everyone trying to close his ears to them, but he could hear it. He could _feel _it more than anything else. The atmosphere took a one-eighty in the few seconds the room took to notice him enter. Crabbe and Goyle were even distant… Draco could hardly understand it. It was only a silly name he called out… Clara… it meant the world to him- but what did it to them? They didn't know who she was, and Draco intended to keep it that way. Draco stalked into the Slytherin Dungeon and Common Room. The whole room fell silent as he entered. Every girl and boy turned around, bitter expressions written onto their faces. Draco gave them the coldest scowl he could manage

"What?" he spat at them all. Pansy Parkinson rose out of her seat, her bitchy stuck up walk said everything.

"That's the question we should be asking you Draco," she said sourly. The whole common room was staring, on Pansys Side, and there was no doubt about that. 

"What are you talking about?" Draco retorted anger welling inside.

"You know Draco." Spat Pansy at him. Draco stared at her bitterly and blankly. She rolled her eyes and folded her arms "This whole Clara thing, your distance, your eye, your attitude… You." She listed. 

"Ballshit. Stop talking crap Pansy and why do you even care?" he spat back at her, rage written in his eyes. Pansy smirked cruelly.

"We, the Slytherin House, decided as a Group we had a right to know what happened to the legendary Draco Malfoy and why he has turned into such a _Jerky **Loser**_ over the summer. We want to know." Draco took a deep breath in

"What the f-? Nothings changed. _I haven't changed_. I'm the same Draco as I ever was, and you, as a group (that the idea you suddenly seem so fond of) can jerk off! There's nothing to know. I don't need this!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, rage and frustration tearing at his throat. He stormed out of the common room in rage. Pansy assertively followed him. 

"DRACO!" she screamed after him. Draco span around still overcome with fury. "What happened, huh?" she said in a gentler tone. "Who is this Clara?" she said looking at her feet, spelling every syllable out perfectly. 

"Oh get lost Pansy," spat Draco, however slightly gentler and he didn't turn around and walk away. Pansy walked up to Draco so their faces were almost touching

"What happened to you and me, huh?" she whispered. Draco felt this stillness inside him "I thought… well. You know. That we were… We. But… this Clara girl. I just need to know. And… I just need to know because you are so… charming and so… sexy. And if another girl had you… I'd feel so… alone." She said slowly and seductively. Draco remained frozen. She moved her hand and gently began to stroke his thigh. Draco still remained still… 'Maybe someone does care… maybe it was me being paranoid. And Slytherin are good…' he thought. "So Draco…" Pansy carried on whispering, "Lets just go in there… and make everything right. Just tell _everyone_ about Clara, whoever she may be, and go back to the Old Draco…" Dracos heart suddenly thudded. He pushed Pansy away from him hard, and began to scream at her          

"Get away from me you Seductive bitch. Don't you dare try and weave me into your web again Pansy Parkinson. I never liked you. I never will. You were nothing but a Plaything to kiss and touch, and I was the same for you so don't deny it. Go back to your Slytherin group and all go to hell together why don't you?" And he turned his back and stalked off down the corridor.

"You'll regret this Draco. Trust me. You were a Legend and Now You're a JOKE." Pansy screamed after him. 

Authors note: Aah I quite like that chapter J Kind of slytherin-based but heey that's what Draco kind of is… This is kind of inspired by Cruel Intentions J I have based Pansy on Kathryn slightly as you might have guessed and Draco slightly on Sebastian. The nxt chapter I am planning and will b up soon J Enjoy. Please R & R


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